Welcome speech 28th September 2017

Good evening, everyone! I hope you're having a great time. If we haven’t already met, I’m Adrian, your Warden. Since this is billed as a welcome speech, allow me first to extend you a very big, warm welcome to the Hall, and let me introduce some other members of the team here with us tonight. Alice is our Hall Manager. She looks after our Hall and everything in it, as well as most of the services like catering, cleaning and security. My Senior Members are Benjy, Marta, Matthew, Rajan, and Rory.

We are all so happy that you have joined us at Connaught. It’s been an absolute pleasure to meet so many of you in the last few days and weeks. I hope we've made your time here so far comfortable, friendly, and relaxed. I hope you’ve been able to connect with lots of people at our social events and in our lovely Hall bar. And I hope that this year will give you many opportunities to forge some great friendships and happy memories that you will treasure for a lifetime.

Our life journeys so far have been incredibly diverse and different from one another, yet right now we’ve all been brought together here, to this Hall, to this community. I want our home here at Connaught to be a hotspot in central London for inclusivity, celebration, friendship, and respect. That’s where I want the next year of our shared life journey to take us. Everyone here is welcome on that journey. But I hope that you won’t just come along for the ride; I want you to be an active participant in making it happen. But how? I hear you ask…
Well, you could get yourself elected to the Hall Association. The Association has its own budget to run the Hall bar and organise many of the social events in Hall. It’s fantastic experience for developing your teamworking, organisational, and communication skills – and it looks great on your CV! That election is happening next week. Talk to me about it tonight.

The Association will also be running a facilities forum and a cultural forum this year. The facilities forum is a way for you to help us improve the physical environment of the Hall as well as services like catering and cleaning; and the cultural forum will help us to celebrate lots of international events together throughout the year. You can contribute to these without having to be elected. Look out for details next month – and again, talk to me about them tonight if you’re interested in these.

Of course, there will be countless other ways to make contributions to the community life of our Hall this year. One of the most important is just to show up and bring your own self to the events and activities that will be going on – and that’s something we can all do!

Now, it’s natural that the year ahead will throw up some challenges for us. Maybe it already has.

Change is stressful for everyone. And you’ve just changed your address, your social group, your place of study, and your whole support network of family and friends. That’s not easy – for anyone. So the fact you’re here right now deserves some real recognition.

But if any of those stresses and challenges get out of control, or if they feel too big or overwhelming, please know that it’s absolutely ok to reach out and ask for help. If there’s a problem, let us know about it. If you’re worried, upset, afraid, or unhappy, talk to us. If you have a question, ask us. That’s what we’re here for. You don’t have to face anything alone.

I’d like to share an idea that might help when you’re facing stresses challenges, and change, especially where there is a risk of conflict or misunderstanding. It might seem a strange idea to as you’re beginning this whole new chapter of learning and knowledge. But bear with me. And this is it:

“Sometimes, not knowing is better than knowing.”
I’m not the first person to have this idea! The Greek philosopher Epictetus wrote:

“It is impossible for a man to learn what he thinks he already knows.”

And from Zen Master Shunryu Suzuki:

“In the beginner's mind, there are many possibilities; in the expert's mind, there are few.”

Let me tell you a story. Picture the scene at Heathrow and Hannah was waiting for her plane. It was delayed. So she thought, “Ok, I’ll get a packet of cookies and a book, and just sit quietly until we’re allowed to board. What else can I do?”

She went to the shop, then to the boarding gate, and put her opened bag of expensive, luxury cookies on the little table between her seat and the one next to it, and she settled into the first chapter of her book. A man came and sat next to her. And before long, she noticed that he took a cookie from the bag. She watched in stunned disbelief as he munched noisily first through one cookie, then another, and another.

Hannah was – err, not best pleased – but she didn’t know how to challenge him, so she sat getting more and more angry, and eating cookies as fast as she could so she might at least get to enjoy half of them. And, well, it really took the biscuit when the rude little man ate… wait for it… the last cookie!

Hannah was by now furious with him, and almost as angry at herself for not standing up to him. I mean, they were expensive cookies! What an awful man! “I bet he steals his own children’s pocket money!” she thought. “He mustn’t have any friends!” “Can you imagine what a horrible work colleague he must be?” She pretty much created a whole life story about the thief, based solely on her observation that he’d eaten her cookies.

But finally, the flight started boarding. She reached into her bag to pull out her boarding pass and what fell out of her bag but… her expensive, luxury cookies. The ones she had been eating whilst reading her book and hating on the man next to her – belonged to the man the whole time!

So what went wrong here?

Hannah was very attached to her cookies and to her view that the man was stealing from her. Because she felt so certain of this mistaken belief, she wasn’t open to understanding the truth. In her mind, the only possibility was that the man was eating her cookies. And that delusion filled her with anger and resentment, and meant that she felt horrible for the whole time she was waiting for her plane.

Has it ever happened to you, that you had a great long argument with someone, where you were fiercely stating one set of facts, and the other person just as fiercely stating a different, contradictory set of facts? One of you – or maybe even both of you – were wrong. But of course, during the conflict, you both thought you were right. Otherwise you wouldn’t bother having the argument.

In fact, any time we find ourselves disagreeing with someone, or experiencing conflict with someone, by definition there must be at least two different ways of looking at that situation. Of course, we like to believe that our own way of seeing things and our own way of living is the right way. So we invest a lot of emotional energy, and even a sense of our own identity, in promoting and defending our way, all the time missing out on opportunities to understand – to really understand – the opinions and experiences of others. In this way, we are constantly limiting our own horizons. 
Just like Hannah, we can all become very attached to our own beliefs and opinions. And just like Hannah, sometimes we are the one has made up a complete story about another person… that is totally wrong!

How many people here in Hall have you already labelled as “library guy”, or “mean girl”, or “that guy who’s always getting wasted”? And imagined a whole personality for them based on that one bit of information – that could be wrong anyway?

But there’s another side to this, as well.

It becomes exhausting when we feel like we always have to know what to do, what to say, how to behave, or how to approach every obstacle. We can feel under so much pressure to somehow get it right all the time. Yet the truth is, many times, we don’t know what’s best or what’s right – and yet we spend so much energy trying to convince … ourselves and others that we’ve got it all together – that we’re very grown up and we’ve got it all worked out – and that we know what we’re doing! Wouldn’t it be so much easier if sometimes we could just say, “I don’t know”… opening the way, perhaps, for someone else to teach us?

So can we all, today, commit maybe: To softening the edges what we think we know – just a little bit? To saying “I don’t know” – just a little more often? Especially when we sense feelings like anger, hurt, fear, or disconnection? To being just a little more open to the possibility that our view might sometimes be wrong? That the stories we’ve told ourselves are really just stories? And to allow ourselves just a little more warm and genuine curiosity - about the world around us, and the people we share it with – in the hope that we might one day see things and people as they really are?

I’m going to finish with one final quote and then a toast. The attribution of this quote is uncertain, though it’s most commonly ascribed to Mark Twain:

“It ain’t what you don’t know that gets you into trouble. It’s what you know for sure that just ain’t so.”

Connaught this year is going to be a welcoming, supportive, and friendly home for us all here. And perhaps – just perhaps – living in this community, our hearts and minds will be opened to new people, new experiences, and new ways of seeing.

So let’s raise our glasses… To community, to curiosity, and to Connaught!

Christmas dinner speech 9th December 2016

Ladies and gentlemen, good evening! I hope you have enjoyed our Christmas dinner so far and that, after I have finished speaking, you will join in singing some Christmas songs with us. Don’t worry – we’ll get the words up on the projector! 

Of course, it couldn't happen without a lot of really hard work from our catering team, so let's say a big thank you to them...  And I think another big round of applause is well deserved by your Residents’ Club Committee, who have invested so much time and effort into organising tonight... 

Ten weeks ago, in my welcome speech, I stood before you all and asked you to try and meet this year’s challenges with kindness and compassion for yourself and for others. Throughout this term, I’ve had the chance to see so many of you live up to that hope on a daily basis. And the result, here in our home, is that you have built a strong and supportive community for one another.  That is something to reflect on, to be proud of, as this year draws to a close. And I hope we will see-in the New Year with a similar abundance of friendship and kindness. For if this festive season means anything to us, it must be about celebrating the peace and joy that we can find in our shared humanity. 

So if you're travelling for the holidays, I wish you safe journeys – and look forward to seeing you back in January. And wherever you will be, I wish you a Christmas and New Year full of love, happiness, and good health. 

Now please raise your glass for a toast... To a very merry Christmas!

 

Welcome speech 27 September 2016

Hello everyone! I hope you're enjoying this evening. If we haven’t already met, I’m Adrian, your Warden. And I have just a few brief things to say tonight. 

First, to everyone, let me extend a very big, warm welcome to the Hall.I hope we've made your first days or weeks here comfortable, friendly, and relaxed. And I hope you’ve been able to connect with plenty of people at our social events and in our lovely Hall bar. 

I can already see a close and supportive community forming between us all this year. Living at Connaught will give you the opportunity to forge great friendships and happy memories that I hope you will carry with you for a lifetime.

All of us on the team are so happy that you have joined us at Connaught. I speak for all the staff when I say that it’s been an absolute pleasure to meet so many of you in the last few weeks. 

It’s natural that the year ahead will throw up challenges. Maybe it already has. Sometimes, it will be stressful. Some days, you won’t feel like university is the best time of your life.

If you do find yourself feeling like that, please know that it’s ok to reach out and talk about how you’re feeling. Remember that the staff, senior members, and I are here to help you. If there’s a problem, let us know about it. If you’re feeling worried, upset, afraid, or unhappy, talk to us. If you have a question, ask us.  

Each year, I try to include just one piece of advice in my welcome speech. Last year, I spoke about the importance of asking questions. This year, I want to highlight just how important kindness is.

Does anybody know who Saint Basil the Great was? ... Well, Saint Basil the Great really was a great guy. As well as writing much of the Eastern Christian liturgy, in Greece, he is the equivalent of Santa Claus, visiting children’s homes on 1st January and leaving them gifts. Back in the fourth century, Saint Basil wrote:

A tree is known by its fruit; a man by his deeds. A good deed is never lost; he who sows courtesy reaps friendship, and he who plants kindness gathers love.

That was 1700 years ago, but now, there is good scientific evidence that being kind makes us happier. There seem to be specific neural pathways in our brain that are only activated when we show kindness to others. Research is showing us that kindness, compassion, giving, and volunteering are at least as beneficial for the person doing as for the person receiving.

I have another quote for you, this time from the 1980s: 

Life’s a bitch, and then you die.

None of us had a choice about being born, nor into what kind of life circumstances we were born into. Life is hard. And we all have a terrible prognosis – in fact, the worst prognosis: we’re all going to die. If we’re lucky, we’ll get old before we die, experiencing years of wrinkles and aching joints. So every one of us is facing inevitable existential catastrophe. Remembering this can help us to cultivate forgiveness and compassion – both towards others and towards ourselves.

Of course that guy shouted at you for no apparent reason: he’s dealing the best way he can with the reality of a tough existence. He doesn’t need your anger: he needs your compassion. Obviously that woman didn’t hold the door open for you: she’s preoccupied with just getting through the day. She doesn’t need your anger: she needs your compassion.

Being kind to others, though, is relatively easy. It can be a lot harder to be kind towards ourselves. We already said that mistakes are inevitable in other people. Well, guess what? It’s inevitable that we will make our mistakes, too.And it’s so important that we learn how to forgive ourselves and be kind to ourselves when we fall short of our own expectations. So, if things don’t always work out how you wanted, try to give yourself a break: allow forgiveness for yourself, have some self-compassion instead of punishing yourself, and move on.

Finally, let me tell you about some of the many opportunities to get involved in the life of the Hall this year. 

Think about standing for election to the Residents Club Committee. The Committee runs the Hall bar, organises most of the social events in Hall, and gets a budget of £7000 a year, plus any profits made from the bar. Being on the committee, you'll get to know nearly everyone in Hall and have a great time doing it. And it’s really good experience for your CV of working in a team. I will publish details this week about how to stand for election, and we'll be voting on Monday 10th October. 

If you want to help us improve the Hall itself, come to our facilities forums. We'll be advertising the first of those next month. Speak with Rajan about the facilities forums.

And if you want to enrich the cultural environment in which we live, think about getting involved with the multicultural students’ forum, which aims to bring the whole Hall together in celebration of festivals from all around the world. We’ll be starting off the multicultural calendar with Diwali next month. Speak with Daniel about getting involved in that.

These are just some of the ways to get involved this year. Make sure you stay up to date via the Hall Facebook group. Read the newsletters we send you, and look out for all the events posted on our notice boards.

Ok. I said I would be brief. So let me finish with a toast.Connaught this year is going to be a welcoming, supportive, and friendly home for us all here. So let’s raise our glasses…  To kindness, new beginnings, and new friends!

Christmas dinner speech by the Warden, Friday 11 December 2015

Ladies and gentlemen, good evening! I hope you have enjoyed our Christmas dinner so far.

It couldn't happen without a lot of hard work from our catering team, so let's say thank you to them... And let's show our appreciation for Dorothy, our pianist; Laura, our photographer; and everyone who helped set up the dining hall and the bar today...And a final big thank you to the Residents' Club Committee: Isaiah, Kiyomi, Janós, Rory, Sonny, and Benjy who have put in weeks of organising for tonight.

But the real stars of this term have been you, ladies and gentlemen. Every one of you. In just a few months, your lives have completely changed from how they were at the beginning of 2015. So you can justifiably be proud that you're here tonight, in the company of your new friends, in a warm, supportive community that you have built together. 

So far, I've enjoyed this year more than any I can remember. So please accept my personal thanks for the part you have played in shaping this year in hall. 

Now, it's time for me close. Coming up, we have some after-dinner entertainment headed up by Rory. Then I hope you will join in singing some Christmas songs with us. The words are on your table. 

If you're travelling for the holidays, I wish you safe journeys.

And wherever you will be, I wish you a very happy and peaceful Christmas and a healthy, prosperous new year. 

So now please raise your glass for a toast... To a merry Christmas!

Welcome speech delivered by the Warden 27 September 2015

The Warden gave this speech at his welcome reception after dinner on Sunday 27 September 2015.

Hello everyone! I hope you're enjoying this evening.

If we haven’t already met, I’m Adrian Clark, your Warden. And I have just a few brief things to say tonight.

First, to everyone, let me extend a very big, warm welcome to the Hall. I hope we've made your first days or weeks here comfortable, friendly, and relaxed.

Let me introduce some other members of the team…

We are all so happy that you have joined us at Connaught. It's been an absolute pleasure to meet so many of you in the last few weeks.

Our goal here is for everyone to feel a sense of belonging in our Hall community – for everyone to naturally want to look out for everyone else, so by the end of the year, we're not sharing this building with 235 strangers, but with 235 friends.

If you join us in working toward that goal, I promise you will make some amazing friends at Connaught Hall this year – forging friendships and great memories that I hope you will carry with you for a lifetime.

And we are going to offer you so many opportunities to get involved.

If you’re all about social events, stand for election to the Residents Club Committee. You'll get to know nearly everyone in Hall and have a great time doing it. There are posters everywhere explaining how to stand for election. We'll be voting next Wednesday.

If you want to help us improve the Hall itself, come to our facilities forums. We'll be advertising the first of those very soon.

And if you want to enrich the cultural environment in which we live, think about getting involved with the multicultural students’ forum, which aims to bring the whole Hall together in celebration of festivals from all around the world. 

Speeches like this are often full of advice that we all quickly forget. So I am going to share only one bit of advice tonight.

And that is, to ask questions.

Ask for information. If you're being being taught something you don't understand, ask your tutor to clarify. You won't be the only one who didn't get it first time.

Ask questions about things. Challenge the way things are done. If you're not happy with something on your course or here in hall, ask what we can do to make it better.

More importantly, ask questions about people. Ask how your neighbours are. Find out what makes them tick. Ask them what you can do to enrich their experience this year. Cultivate your interest in everyone around you. We can all learn so much from the people we share the world with – and they will like you for asking about them.

Ask questions of yourself, too. University is as much about getting to know yourself as it is learning your subject. Use this year to explore and expand your own preferences, your views, and your beliefs.

So… Ask questions everywhere you go. You may not find the answer to every question you ask, but you can at least enjoy the asking.

You know, I have a really good feeling about this year. We're going to have a great year together. But let's not pretend there won't be challenges. It's not always easy studying a new subject, in a new city, with new friends.

And it's ok sometimes to think “hey, actually this isn't the best time of my life”. It's normal to sometimes feel lost or sad. But please promise yourself now that if you're struggling with something, you will tell someone about it. Tell a friend, tell your tutor, tell your college welfare service, tell me or a senior member. We're all here to listen and to help.

Ok. I said I would be brief. So let me finish with a toast. Please raise your glass… To the best year ever!

Welcome speech delivered at dinner on Sunday 21st September

Hello everyone. I’m Adrian, your Warden.

My first task tonight is to extend you all a very warm welcome to Connaught Hall. I am so pleased that you have joined us at Connaught, and I’ve really enjoyed meeting and getting to know so many of you over the last two weekends. And I hope you feel at home here very quickly.

I read something in the newspaper last week that I thought was worth sharing:

The fundamental law of freshers week is that everyone is terrified and insecure, and it's just a game of who can hide it best. Freshers week is probably not the time you'll meet the people who you will become best friends with. To be honest, it's more about surviving and attempting to have fun in this strange and overwhelming new world you've been thrown into. But it can be the time when you sow the seeds for friendships that you'll come to depend on.

So while you’re busy feeling a bit nervous about everything but pretending you’re not, remember all the people sitting around you are thinking and pretending exactly the same thing. And let me assure of this: you will make some amazing friends at Connaught Hall this year – friendships that I hope will last a lifetime. And I really hope you will look back on this year as one of the best of your life.

Now, I want to share something very important with you. Something that I need your help with.

My goal here in Hall is for everyone to feel safe, happy, and a sense of belonging in our Hall community. That’s my mission. And I want you to share it with me. Starting tonight, help me to make Connaught Hall “home” not just for you but also for everyone else around you right now.

How can we do it? Well, it’s actually very simple.

I’m going to suggest four easy rules that you can use to make your life better this term.


Rule number one: 

Get involved in some of the exciting opportunities the next few weeks will offer you. 

Come to our events, use your Hall bar, stand for election to the Residents’ Club Committee. That’s how you can best meet people.


Rule number two:

Be yourself, but be interested in other people.

Then you will make friends with people who like you for who you really are. And you'll make those friends much more quickly by being genuinely interested in the people you meet.


Rule number three: 

Take time to relax.

Some of you will want to go out and get drunk seven nights a week every week this term. You might even feel under pressure to do that. You don't have to. It’s a myth that students spend all their time at parties. Overdoing the partying side of things will exhaust you more quickly than you might think. Take some time out for yourself, relax, go for a jog, go shopping. Not everything has to be about alcohol.

Others of us might choose to study in the library almost every waking hour. Don’t do that either – that’s just as damaging for your health as going to a party every night. Your grades won’t reflect all that extra work and you will not feel good.

So take some time out for yourself.


Rule number four:

Consider your neighbours in Hall.

In particular, try to be quiet when they want to study or sleep. I have seen from too much experience that conflict between two neighbours in Hall makes both of them really unhappy. Don’t be one of those people!

You can go one step further than just not annoying your neighbours: look out for them, too. Talk to them, listen to them, help them if you can.



So those are my four rules for staying happy. But what if you have “down” times? Well, here’s the biggest secret nobody ever told you: 

it’s OK to ask for help.

So who do you ask? There are people all around you who are ready to listen, to advise, and to help if things get tough. Here in Hall, my team of Senior Members and I help the Hall community grow together, look after you when you need a bit of support, and help you resolve conflicts with other residents. This year, my Senior Members are: Becca, Bill, Jing, Jon, and Leah.

I’m a doctor in the emergency department at University College Hospital. The senior members are all students in at least their fourth year of university study. 

You can talk to us about anything. Anything at all.

If you need some practical help with something inside the Hall, we’re really lucky at Connaught to have a fantastic hall management team who look after the building and all the facilities and services you use every day – so that’s things like catering, maintenance, security, cleaning, the laundrette, and all the really useful stuff.

Alice is our Hall Manager, Julie is her assistant, and we also have Dave working with us at the moment. They’re both based in the office behind reception and they’re very happy for you to pop in talk to them during their office hours.

You can also write to us with any ideas, suggestions, or complaints about pretty much anything in Hall at our suggestion box address. It’s well publicised in the Hall Handbook, online, and on posters in reception and in the dining hall. We really do want to hear from you. We will always reply and will always do our best to take action on your suggestions wherever possible.

Now, if you really want to get involved in the Hall, stand for election to the Residents’ Club Committee in the second week of October. All Connaught Hall residents are eligible to stand for election. The five residents who get voted in will be in charge of the bar, and will organise all this year’s parties and social, entertainment, and sporting events. They get a budget to spend and meet regularly with me and my team.

Being on the committee is a great way to get to know everyone in Hall, to influence how things run, and it’s a very good point to have on your CV. So think about getting involved and talk to me or one of the outgoing committee members about it.

Or you might want to join the Facilities Committee or the Multicultural Students’ Forum. Again, you are all eligible to join these committees and they are a very good way to get more involved in the life of the Hall.

We will post information about the Residents’ Club elections, the Facilities Committee, and the Multicultural Students’ Forum over the next week or so. So make sure you are following us on Facebook, or Twitter, or Tumblr, or whatever is your preferred social platform we're on pretty much everything.

OK, well, thank you for listening tonight. Please get in contact if you need any help, or want to make any suggestions. Remember the bar is staying open until late. I hope to see lots of you there later.

And now, in our usual Connaught tradition, let’s raise a toast:

To a very happy and successful year for all of us!

Warden's speech at welcome dinner on Sunday 14th September

Hello everyone. I’m Adrian Clark, your Warden.

Let’s say a big thank you to the kitchen staff for preparing tonight's meal for us.

Tonight, you get the short version of my speech. I thought it simply wasn’t really fair to put you through the same speech three times over the next three weekends, just because you’re the first people to arrive!

Well, my first job tonight is to extend you all a very warm welcome to Connaught Hall. Wherever you’ve come from, whatever you’re studying, I look forward to meeting you – if we haven’t met already – and I hope you settle in and feel at home here very quickly.

You might have seen this logo on a poster at the front door. It symbolises how we respect, enjoy, and celebrate diversity in our Hall community – and I hope you will join us in making everyone sitting around you now feel welcome and at home here.

Connaught Hall has a reputation for being the friendliest and most social hall in London – this year, keeping up that reputation is down to you. So I hope this year will be one that you look back on as one of the best of your life.

And we’re all here to help make sure you do. This is my team. Becca, Bill, Jing, Jon, and Leah. I’m a doctor in the emergency department at University College Hospital. The senior members are all students in at least their fourth year of university study. We’re here to help the Hall community grow together, look after you when you need a bit of support, and help you resolve conflicts with other residents. Talk to me or a Senior Member if you’re feeling lost, sad, or anxious about something. We’re here to listen to you. We all have down times. And it’s OK to ask for help.

  

We’re really lucky at Connaught Hall to have a fantastic hall management team who look after the building and all the facilities and services you use every day. Alice is our Hall Manager, Julie is her assistant, and we also have Dave, our admin. assistant, with us for a little while longer. They’re based in the office behind reception and they’re very happy for you to pop in talk to them during their office hours.

 

You can also write to us with any ideas, suggestions, or complaints about pretty much anything in Hall at this suggestion box address. It’s well publicised in the Hall Handbook, online, and on posters in reception and in the dining hall. We really do want to hear from you. We will always reply and will always do our best to take action on your suggestions wherever possible.

Another way you can shape what happens in Hall this year is by standing for election to, or voting for, the Residents’ Club Committee, who organise most of the social, sports, and entertainment events in Hall. I’ll talk more about that next week.

Now, the last bit of advice I have for you tonight is that the bar is staying open until 10:30, so maybe it’s time for another drink? But before you run off to the bar, let’s make a toast with the last drops of whatever drink you got earlier… 

To a very happy and successful year for all of us!